Just Another “Feeling”

This world is full of so many feelings that it’s become an artform on who is full of more feelings over another. Feelings have become a competition that to actually hear real conversation or someone’s thoughts is never even considered or thought about.

Let’s get real! OK?

Feelings are just that…F E E L I N G S. Period.

What is the textbook definition of the word feelings? Depending upon how you use the word it varies. It’s most common definition is “to touch something” physically. However, even more today, it is “to connect emotionally” with something. For the sake of this post, I am focusing on the emotional realm of feelings.

As a Guardian, I am allowed my feelings however, I am NOT allowed to ACT Out or

On them, when it involves someone else.

Let me explain a very pivotal moment, when my Feelings were wanting to be expressed and wanting my attention. However, I needed logic and a cool head to make a very important decision.

A couple years ago, my brother ended up aspirating on his last day in the hospital after a hip surgery. He ended up in the ICU from choking on his vomit. I was getting up for work at 4am when I noticed the hospital called me. I listened to the voicemail and then called the ICU to talk with a nurse. After a brief discussion, I packed and was on the road to Missoula. I made several calls to my mom and sisters then focused on driving. Once I made Couer d’Alene, I received a message from my little sister to call the ICU. I did and that was when my emotions almost overtook everything. Thankfully, I focused on what the ICU Internist found out and what he recommended to save my brother’s life. Now, mind you, my little sister was frantically trying to “help”, but she kept getting lost in her experiences and I simply couldn’t listen to her, so I told her to “shoosh”!

(She remained mad at me for about 2 more weeks with several expressions of her feelings. A whole other story)

I proceeded to ask the Doctor to explain it himself and then asked a couple specific questions, so I knew where my brother was at in the whole situation and what avenue I needed to take.

He wanted to intubate my brother to clear out the goop and fluid in his lungs that were making it hard for him to breathe.

I asked was Paul alert/awake? He said yes.

Then I asked how long did he expect the tube to be in Paul’s lungs? He said about 3 days max.

Was I praying? YES, the WHOLE time!

Did I FEEL my emotions? Yes, however they were held at bay by breathing and focusing on the present conversation and actions needing done.

I said I gave him permission to intubate but that they needed to give my brother something to cause him to sleep. Paul wouldn’t do well with them putting a tube into his throat while awake. He wouldn’t understand and wouldn’t remain still plus, he would try to pull it out.

A little back story here.

In 1986, my brother survived a car accident…barely. He spent 7.5 months in a Coma as the swelling in his brain receded. He had a trachea valve in his lower front neck area the first several months, an IV giving fluids and a feeding tube in his side, until he was out of the coma. Once he woke up, it was another 8 or so months relearning everything. Over the past 35+ years, I discovered that Paul NEVER FORGOT about the tubes, even though it was when he was in a coma. My brother also has a DNR (do not resuscitate) standing order. So, it was important to ask these questions (without emotion overtaking me) and then giving the information to the Internist and Nurses so Paul’s wishes and needs were being looked after.

The whole point I am making is that it is great to have emotions and feelings HOWEVER NEVER allow your feelings to override and control your responses and actions when life throws you lemons or curve balls. Logic, Commonsense and true empathy is needed not erratic uncontrolled emotions or feelings. Those are enhancements NOT procedure.